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Situational Humor

Some things are only funny in certain situations, so you must be ready with your humor. For example, if someone stumbles while walking, it is funny to say, "First day on your new feet?" However, it is not funny to say this twenty minutes later, when the stumbling has been forgotten. Timing is the essence of comedy, so you should always be ready to capitalize on the current situation. Here are some common situational jokes you can use the next time the opportunity presents itself. You should memorize these and use them as often as possible to show how funny you are. Note that some situations have more than one appropriate response. You might try to alternate between the various responses to show your diversity. On the other hand, it never hurts to fall back on an old standby. If a joke is funny once, it stands to reason that it will be funny twenty more times.
Situation	Jokes
Somebody is very tall.

    * "Do you play basketball?"
    * "Oh sorry, I thought you were a lightpost."
    * "How's the weather up there?"

Somebody is very short.

    * "Where's the circus?"
    * "Da plane! Da plane!"
    * "How's the weather down there?"

Somebody stumbles.

    * "Walk much?"
    * "First day on your new feet?"
    * "How's the weather down there?"

Somebody burps.

    * "Really?"
    * "Well put."
    * "Did you get any on you?"
    * "Just as good the second time?"

Somebody hurts himself.

    * "That's gotta hurt!"
    * "That's going to leave a mark."
    * "You're going to feel that tomorrow."

Somebody says something untrue.

    * "Bzzt, wrong answer. Thanks for playing."

Somebody says, "You can say that again."

    * (repeat what you just said)
    * "That again."
    * " Better [writing a resume | http://www.careerwatcher.org/]' BS"